


The Other Side of Broken Dreams (and Hearts)

by Anonymous



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Heavy Angst, Loss of Virginity, Reylo Baby, Second Chances, grovel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25446721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Benjamin Solo had many fuck ups. The biggest in his opinion are:1. Alienating his parents in favor of Snoke.2. Legally changing his name which he is currently in the process of reverting back. (Don't laugh)3. Then, of course, her.Thirty year old Kylo Ren would have no qualms blackmailing her back into his life, but thirty six year old Ben Solo knows that's not how healthy relationships work. Rey Niima would be twenty five now, probably a practicing engineer just as she promised herself. But when Ben finds out he has a son with Rey, he wants a shot to be a father and ...maybe with her.Nineteen year old Rey Niima had big dreams. She would be an engineer at twenty four then have her own mansion at thirty. She would be happy too, nothing like the orphan she grew up as bouncing from one place to another without any home. Nevertheless, a heartbreak at twenty one left her as a single mother to a loving boy and struggling to finish her degree. But that's okay, Rey's a survivor. So when Kylo Ren, now going by Ben Solo, comes crashing back into her life demanding a place in her son's life, she's determined she will survive him again.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44
Collections: Anonymous





	The Other Side of Broken Dreams (and Hearts)

**Author's Note:**

> This is an explosive of HQN romances I've read over the years (those trashy novels are my secret binge material🙈). I need to write out the angst I'm feeling (Not including COVID-19, 2020 is a wtf year), here is the final product. Thanks for reading. I have nothing against draftsmen, I worked as one. (I studied architecture and part time practicing it while I'm studying a different course)

Benjamin Solo’s fingers gripped the manila envelope between his fingers, half afraid of what dirty secret he would find. The papers were compiled by Snoke himself and from Ben’s understanding, even Hux and Phasma were not privy to. Ever since the scandal that toppled First Order’s firm several months ago, when he finally opened his eyes to the evil that Snoke was, he came to regret many decisions he made in the past decade. 

Alienating his parents (last he heard: his mother finally retired from her political career while his father, a retired race car driver turned actor, was recuperating from his second heart attack. Both were enjoying a nice vacation in Asia), Legally changing his name, (which he is in the legal process of changing it back to the original Benjamin Solo). Then, of course, her. (She would be twenty five now, probably a practicing engineer just as she promised herself).

At this point, nothing should shock him. 

With a breath, he tore open the envelope not bothering to pick up the lone picture that fell, diving head first with the documents. He skimmed them. Instead of finding pictures or descriptions of seedy places he’d been in or transactions he involved himself in behalf of Snoke, Ben was confused with the contents: a document about a gag order, a large sum of money, photocopies of numerous cheques, most confusing was the word abortion that popped up quite a lot. The pit of his stomach sunk when he read the last document, it was a receiving copy of a threatening letter about the non-performance of an agreed abortion. 

He remembered brown eyes twinkling at him.

Ben’s heart thumped. Having a faint idea what ‘his dirty little secret was’. 

His jaw clenched when he’d seen what he’d feared, Rey’s familiar signature at the bottom of the page. Slowly, he picked up the fallen picture and flipped it over to see a grainy capture of a big eared, black haired smiling toddler being hugged by a familiar figure. 

You are nothing but a bed and money hopping slut.

She was pictured with her back from the camera, her hair that used to be in a juvenile three bun hairstyle he found charming was neatly placed in a ponytail. Professional. She was an engineer now, so that would explain the hairdo. She still wore the same colors and style. She was crouched down to the level of the toddler, whose name was currently unknown to him.

His eyes shifted back to the toothie grin of the child. The face was his own, in Ben’s younger years. The pang of guilt and regret was familiar and welcome. 

Rey Niima had his child.

“Mom.” A toddler, too tall for his age grabbed her hand. While other children excitedly told their guardians about their day at school, her son simply held on to her. Kyle’s teacher, Ms. Holdo, assured her that her son was merely shy, but when comfortable, was sociable enough not to cause any worry. Ms. Holdo instructed the other kids not to play too roughly with Kyle, and designated another classmate to help carry his book bag inside the campus.

Rey was still worried for her son who underwent pediatric heart surgery just two months ago. The operation was a success and her son’s doctor assured her that her son would recover, provided that he would need plenty of rest, supervision and eat a controlled diet. 

As a part time draftsman, Rey was thankful her boss allowed her to work from home with the promise of taking on more workload to compensate. The pay was not as well as she’d earn had she finished her degree, but it helped keep their expenses paid plus save some for her education.

She was supposed to re-enroll herself in college and finish her engineering degree, however the money went to Kyle’s operation and recovery. She would have to put off her education for another year or two at most, which was fine considering Kyle was still recovering and needed her full attention. Her friends, Rose and Finn were already young professionals in their competitive fields. They wanted to help her in any way they could, but Rey limited it to the occasional gift to her son, they still had student debts and their own daily expenses to think about. And to be honest, her pride won’t allow more. She was a survivor, she would survive this and thrive.

The walk from school to their house was ten minutes. Dr. Dameron assuaged her fears that the walk was acceptable enough exercise for her son and would not worsen her son’s condition. Rey smoothed her son’s new jacket and tucked a scarf around his neck, careful to keep him warm. 

“Who’s that in front of our house?” Kyle’s voice interrupted her thoughts. She followed her son’s finger pointing to a tall man casually lounging on a familiar black car parked infront of their driveway while at the same time telling Kyle it was rude to point at people. Rey paused and took the man in. 

The man was familiar and unwelcome. Her anger spiked. How dare he. How dare he. 

“… A stranger, Kyle.” Rey muttered darkly, holding Kyle closer to her body but careful enough not to put any pressure on his chest. She still remembered the last threatening letter from the First Oder Plutt showed her when she asked for a place to stay. Plutt told her Kylo Ren and his boss were not keen on her being in the same city as them, especially with the non-abortion, an abortion she did not ever want or ever agree to. They gave her ten thousand dollars as hush money. 

It would have been satisfying to give the money back and to tell them where to stick their pretentious asses but her son needed a stable house to call a home. She swallowed her pride then promised herself, it would be the last time she would take anything from Kylo. Together with that, she sold the only jewelry she kept ( a gift from Kylo in their happier days), the proceeds were able to help secure a foreclosed property, the house was modestly sized in need of repair but with some tender, love and care, she was able to make livable enough for her son and herself called home. 

Kylo Ren had not seen them yet, his gaze locked on his phone.

I’ll never leave you Rey. You might be a nobody, but not to me. 

Honeyed words, just to get her in his bed. Then when the situation did not suit him anymore, he discarded her like yesterday’s left overs with scathing, hurtful words as goodbye. 

After instructing her son to stay behind her back and pressing their house key in his small hand while she dealt with the unwanted guest, she approached Kylo, cutting out the pleasantries. “What do you want?”

Ben gripped his phone and took his time studying her, from her scowl to his son, Kyle, hiding at her back. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and placed them on top of his car, where Rey can see them.

“What do you want, Kylo?” She repeated. 

“Just to talk, Rey.” He could see Rey’s jaw clench. He understood the reaction too, with the amount of threats, barbs and insults Snoke sent her way, who wouldn’t be hostile? “To apologize as well”

“Too late for that.” Rey walked around him until she got their son inside the gate, she obscured his vision of Kyle’s face. Ben had enough patience not to rush his first meeting with his son, no matter how much he wanted to introduce himself. He felt dejected when the little boy ran towards the door, throwing a worried glance his mother’s way. Kyle indeed got his ears, and fortunately Rey’s nose. 

‘You have nothing to fear from me, son’, he wanted to say but didn’t. 

“I upheld my end of the bargain, Mr. Ren. I hope you won’t do anything considering you approached me. Not the other way around.” Mr. Ren sounded so impersonal coming from her. He was not a Mr. Ren anymore but once again a Mr. Solo. He won’t correct her now, considering she might get angrier. 

“I just want to see our son Rey. ” He said gently. 

“Our?” Her face twisted in a sneer. She remembered the day he abandoned her with her things professionally packed in front of a homeless shelter. It was the same day she was supposed to tell him she was pregnant. 

“Our son Rey. ” She remembered writing to him, pleading him to hear her side. Not even when she’d first received the letter instructing her to abort did she think to deny Kylo his right to fatherhood. Only when Snoke approached her with ugly words and a document of Kylo renouncing his fatherhood did Rey finally accept that their relationship was indeed over. Kyle was only a few weeks old by then. Regret ran through her that she’d already registered her baby Kyle Niima Ren, Rey thought Kylo would appreciate having her baby named after him. How delusional could she get?

Snoke turned up his nose at her then subsequently removed Kylo Ren from the birth certificate. As the head lawyer of a corrupt firm, it only needed a snap of Snoke’s fingers to make it happen. Rey never felt as small as that moment. 

“Kyle’s mine, I have documents of you renouncing any of your so called ‘rights’.” She muttered darkly. “As far as I’m concerned Mr. Ren, you have no children here. My son and I would appreciate it if you left. The neighbors are staring, we don’t need this kind of gossip.”

“I only found out about him two weeks ago. Hear me out Rey.” Ben appealed. Rey saw her neighbors staring at the flashy car and equally flashy man so out of place in their humble neighborhood. Rey found it unfair of him to ask for any of her time when, when she’d beg him a minute of his, he flexed his socio-economic, political status just to deny her. And boy did he show it! She told him as much and his face turned stoic. With a tilt of his head goodbye, he left. Throwing one last longing look at her home where her son was watching from the window. 

Good. Rey thought. She did not need that kind of trouble, and neither did her son who did not need Kylo Ren as his father. 

Rey’s morning went well. There was nothing unusual for their hip boss Luke Skywalker to hold meetings some odd days of the week to check on their individual progress. Luke worked as an architect and was the lead designer of many international landmarks. Though not directly working under him, Luke was friendly to her and even occasionally asked about her son whom he met two years ago during the company family outing. 

So, when Luke paged for her to go up the conference room she was not worried, even bringing a cup of coffee and a donut from the pantry to eat while waiting. She saw Luke first whose face was tight around the edges, standing up. Rey was supposed to crack a joke, when she saw Kylo Ren intently looking up at her. He sat at the conference table, his jaw equally tense as Luke’s. 

“Please sit down, Rey. ” Kylo motioned for the seat opposite him. He had a stack of folders in front of him and in front of the seat he indicated. 

“God, Kylo. I can’t believe you.” She glared at him, before looking at Luke, beckoning him to explain, Rey was already weighing options up her mind. She could work at another firm as a draftsman. The hours would not be as flexible or even the pay. Would she even be allowed to work from home? She had to work longer hours to compensate but with Kyle still recuperating…

“I can explain, Rey. I can see your thoughts running around your head.” Luke placed both his hands on her tense shoulders. “Hear him out. I was arguing for a few days with Ben about this. I won’t allow anything bad to happen to you. Please, just give him thirty minutes to explain.”

“Ben? Who’s Ben?” Rey shrugged his hands away from her shoulders, “I don’t owe Kylo anything, Luke. And how do you know him?”

“I can explain” Kylo did not stand from his seat, motioning to the seat opposite him again. “I promised Luke I won’t threaten you with anything. Please. After this, you won’t have to hear from me again.”

“Don’t lie.” Luke hissed from the doorway. Kylo had the gall to look chastened, his ears turning pink. 

“I won’t put you in a legal disadvantage Rey. Or take Kyle away from you. But I can’t promise to stay away.” He muttered darkly, flashing Luke a look that made the other man scowl. 

“Thirty minutes Ben, then you are getting out of my building.” Luke banged the door closed to make his point across. 

“”Well, Ben. I’m all ears.” Rey sarcastically said. Eating her donut and sipping coffee as if she’s feeling nonchalant even if she felt farthest from it. Four years passed between them, he would be thirty six now and the lines around his eyes and mouth show it. Kylo was clean shaven as always, his hair cropped shorter than it once was when she met him when he was thirty. 

“Luke’s my uncle. Don’t get mad at him for today. I was adamant I talk to you and I know it would only be through him that I’d get this opportunity.” Kylo opened a folder and asked her to do the same. “We have privacy here to talk about us.”

She didn’t open the folder, she also bristled at his tone. There was no us to talk about. She was wary of any documents coming from him. “I’m not putting you back in my son’s birth certificate Kylo. I’ve already suffered the embarrassment of having it struck out because we weren’t good enough for you.”

“While I would like my name back in there Rey, I first want to make things better between us.” Ben studied her properly. She was harder and now a cynic. He felt responsible for it. He promised his uncle he would make it up to her. He could blackmail her into sharing custody, but even thinking it sent a bad taste in his mouth. Snoke used his legal knowledge to bully, intimidate and belittle his Rey who had nobody in her corner because he turned his back on her. Keeping legalities out right now is his best course of action. He is not Snoke, he’d make her see it. “Snoke manipulated everything. I want to apologize first with how I ended things between us. The best two years of my life were spent with you. You did not deserve what you got from Snoke and I. Me especially.”

Rey tapped her fingers on the table, not looking at him. Ben took it as a good sign, she wasn’t contesting anything. He dated a few string of actresses, models and influencers in their four years apart but somehow, in the odd hour of the night or day, he’d remember Rey and miss her. But his pride won’t allow him to check up on her, all the more fool he was. 

“Snoke blinded me with ambition, power and attention, he became my pseudo dad so I believed him to have had my best interests at heart. That’s no excuse to how I treated you, but that’s the only explanation I have.”

“Why did Luke call you Ben?” Rey cut him off. Ben internally winced knowing how his explanation would sound. He gave a brief explanation of how he was birthed as Benjamin Solo, son of renowned and beloved Leia Organa-Solo and the retired actor Han Solo. Rey’s face darkened, Ben remembered all the times Rey mentioned his parents not able to make the connection while he did not correct her. 

“You must have been laughing at me when I gushed to you how I wanted Han to be my dad.” Rey was a massive fan of Han Solo, who before turning into a massive race car driver studied engineering. 

“I didn’t.” Ben dissented, “Honestly if my parents and I weren’t estranged, I would have loved for you to meet them.”

Rey did not know what to reply to that, then motioned at the folder. Ben gave her a rundown of the shitshow that was the First Order, he gave her receipts of all the unauthorized lies Snoke told on his behalf. He also gave her a photocopy of the cheque worth some thousand dollars for the abortion. Ben informed her too, that Plutt swindled her most of it and only gave her a paltry sum. Rey was quiet by the time Ben explained how Hux manipulated images for Ben to believe Rey was cheating on him. Rey gave him a dirty look and Ben apologized again for not believing her or even talking to her about it. Everything would have been funny, from Ben’s stoic look while he apologized to the glasses perched on his nose, if it was not happening to her.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Kylo. Ben.” She sounded tired, aging a lot in the twenty five minutes that they were talking. She always understood how Kylo looked up to Snoke. However, Rey did not allow herself to feel anymore sadness or pity for him, the time for that has passed. Operating on feelings she did not want to feel would get her nowhere. “What do you want to do now?”

“Right. I want my son to get to know me.” Ben answered bluntly, pulling out a piece of paper and moving it closer to Rey at a glance, she could see it was a list of after school activities and other expenses a child could accumulate, “I want to contribute to his upbringing financially and emotionally, I want him to spend some time with me and have a real chance to be a dad to him. We don’t have to change his name. I also want you to finish school, with the recent heart operation I know you---”

“How sure are we that you won’t flake?” Ben paused and honestly looked hurt at her question. In turn, Rey felt bad for even asking it but she quashed the feeling. “You turned your back on me, Ben, contrary to what you promised before. If you think along the way, you can’t stay: Walk away from Kyle now, we would all be happier. I promise, from the bottom of my heart, he won’t want for anything. ”

Ben was quiet. His shoulder sighing in defeat. After finding out about Kyle, he imagined what it would have been like. To have been there at the start. To have Rey as his wife and to have them share a home and a family. Snoke ruined it all. Ben knew the numerous sacrifices Rey had to do to have a child so early in her career, he was dismayed to find her working as a draftsman instead of her dream. He could give her back her education and give their son a father. His heart fluttered. But looking at Rey’s stony eyes pulled him back to reality. 

“I already lost you. Do I have to lose my son too?” Ben asked bitterly. He did not know how to fight fair, the ticking of the clock reminded him his thirty minutes was almost up. He can’t bully Rey into agreeing to his terms. Snoke did that to her for years, and he refused to do it to her too. But he wanted to get to know his own son. Be a good father to him and be present in his own milestones. Be a dad his son would be proud of. 

When Luke opened the door with security in tow, he sighed in defeat. Getting through Rey with one short conversation did nobody any favors. He grabbed his personal card, and placed in in front of Rey. “When you make up your mind, call me.”

Ben did not wait for Luke to escort him out, he grabbed his folders and went out the building.


End file.
